How We Roll …(Dancing On My Own)
Date: 8/14/2017, Categories: Bisexual, Author: MsTrib, Source: LushStories
Shops loaded with goods, all around me. Bright fluorescent lamps fill the space with light. It's truly a wonderland, a place to overindulge yourself, spoil yourself. The Metro, Newcastle's mammoth shopping centre. On the first floor outside New Look, I stare down into the windows of Zara. A purse, bulging with money and an insatiable need to pamper and treat myself. I'm shopping until I'm dropping. That's today's rule and there's nothing going to stop me. Or is there? They come from out of nowhere, I don't understand at all, what I'm seeing. Jules and Mandy, in the crowd, hand in hand, laughing, together. Pulling back from the balustrade, I can still watch them, but I won't be seen. Their shopping together, without me, like a couple. Pointing at items in windows, laughing, gesticulating, kissing! I've not seen Mandy in weeks. Jules has been off with me for weeks, I've not made love with Jules for days. My heart sinks as realisation grips my body, shaking its core. Tears burst from my eyes, my feet take me towards the exit. Outside in the blazing sun, I wrap my arms tightly around myself. It's not cold but it shields my hurt, a cover for my pain. As tears dry, anger and resentment collide inside my brain, fuelling a need, a need to inflict pain, feel pain, a need for revenge. My breathing eases, allowing oxygen to penetrate my blood, soothing me, beginning to relax me. Still my need to inflict pain consumes my thoughts. It's all I feel, it's all I am. Fishing through my phone ...